Above and Beyond Expectations

This Tuesday began a marathon of doctor's appointments that won't end until the baby is born: Tuesday--orthopedist and obstetrician, Thursday--obstetrician, Monday--pediatrician, Tuesday--obstetrician, Wednesday--cardiologist .... You get the gist.

And, you know what?

I am thrilled beyond belief.

I wouldn't be having all these appointments if I weren't as far along as I am now.

The doctors say we have exceeded all expectations. I am 35 weeks pregnant today. Only one more week and, although the baby would still be considered a preemie, it would be safe to deliver. Caden was born at 36 weeks, and his only preemie issue was that he had no interest in eating. (Those of you who know my son know this is no longer a problem for him!)

Even though everything has been going so incredibly well, I think it never really seemed possible we would get here. I've had frequent moments of doubt where I cried out to God, "I believe--help my unbelief!" Sure, once the doctors confirmed that the membranes had resealed and the fluid levels looked fine, there seemed to be no reason to doubt that we would see October come and go before this baby made his or her grand entrance. But, still, I couldn't see that far ahead, I've been engaged in a different kind of marathon up to this point: I've been putting one foot in front of the other, just trying to get a little bit further on the journey. But now I can see the finish line. It's closer than I expected--I can finally see that it's possible to get there.

I don't know why God chooses to answer some prayers and not others. I don't know why some babies live and some babies die. I do know that the fact that this baby is still alive has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with how good I am (because I'm not), and God certainly doesn't love me any more than the women whose membranes break and don't reseal. It's not about me. I also know that God doesn't love me any less than the women whose babies are born far too early, but survive. I don't know or understand God's reasons. But what I do know is this: The healing and protection of this baby is a gift from God. I do not take that for granted.

I am uncomfortable and irritable and just plain big right now, but I wouldn't trade any of that for anything. When this baby is born, I will hold him/her up to the world and say, "Look what God has done."