An Amazing Father

On the day that Judah was born I probably wept, not just teared up, more than any other day in my life. First, as most of you know, Judah's presence revealed the favor of God in resealing the amniotic sac after it ruptured at 14 weeks - nearly unheard of. Twenty five weeks of fear later, Judah was in our arms. My shoulders shuddered in gratitude.

I had just hung up the phone with Doug, the third in my family I called after Judah's 4am birth. And I was done. I needn't call 303-xxx-5000, Devon's number before she died after fighting breast cancer. I go more than days thinking about her and often think I'm cold hearted, but at that moment when I couldn't share the birth of my son with her, her memory was right there. She is my sister and was a companion in faith who understood some things very profoundly, and the spiritual joys in my life was one of those. Her absence on the other end of an uninitiated call caught me off guard.

A moment or two later, Isobel's absence was felt, a realization Heather and I shared in the moment with words. We'd already had more time with Judah than with Isobel. I began shaking my head from side to side.

I don't recall when in the hours after Judah's nativity that the next wave hit, a simple one: I have an amazing wife. Heather, we've experienced the weight of glory and the crushing

void of loss, and though I walk imperfectly with you, the penultimate lagrimas arrived with the realization that we share more than progeny, but one union. Five years after "I will" Judah's arrival that slipped a bit more into my soul. Oh. Oh my.

Some twenty five weeks ago, in the hours following the ruptured membranes that were to keep Judah safe, I was pouring out my overwhelming fears to God: "How can I help carry Heather though the death of a second child? How can I tax the brothers and sisters of St. Matthias with one more grief in my life? How can I endure the moments when, once more, my child slips from me?" Into these imprecise cries the Lord whispered to me an impression: peace. Not in words, but in as much clarity, God urged me to own that he wouldn't allow, this time, a deadly outcome. In my arms was Judah, not a wish, not a hope, not a promise awaiting fulfillment, but the very substance of the Lord's word to me. Judah is more than the miraculous act of God, but the possession of the rich food that is God's faithfulness. Here I wept and ended my weeping.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Psalm 34.8

He is an Amazing Father.