Nothing

I've been thinking for a while about how to write this post, and you'll all agree--I've had a lot of time for thinking lately. I've been on complete bedrest for four weeks now, and I have to confess, It's not my favorite thing.

As most of you know, I was on partial bedrest with Caden, which was difficult, but not tortuous. I could still make myself lunch, I could still leave the house on occasion to go see a movie or go to a friend's house, and most importantly I didn't have a little boy right on the verge of turning two to parent from the confines of my couch. This complete bedrest thing has been a huge challenge for me.

Sure, on the surface it sounds great: watch movies, read books, learn to knit socks, have someone there to meet your every need. Until you start to think about the reality of it. I have to ask someone every time I need something. Every time. If I'm hungry and want a sandwich, I have to ask. If I want ice cubes in my water, I have to ask. If I can't reach the remote control, I have to ask. If it's not on the way to the bathroom, I need to ask for someone else to get it for me. This is a very humbling place to be--stripped of the freedom to simply meet my own needs.

And what about the complete powerlessness? Caden figured out very early on that I was no longer able to discipline him, and now he pushes those boundaries every opportunity he gets. His new favorite taunt is to climb on my bookshelf, just out of my reach, and grin at me while I tell him to get down. He has been throwing temper tantrums with frustrating frequency and alarming force. This is new to us. In the past his temper tantrums were short-lived and easily diffused. Not so now. This all began when I was hospitalized. But how much of it is due to the current circumstances in our home, and how much is due to the fact he's 21 months old? We just don't know. But it is hard to sit and watch and be unable to get out of my chair to dish out a time-out, pull him off of the table, or even place a soothing hand on his back when he's beside himself.

I will do it, of course. I will sit and be good and wait for this baby to be born. He or she is absolutely worth it. But it's hard. If you give me tasks, objectives, steps to check off a list that will eventually lead to an ultimate goal, I'm your girl. I mean, I trained for a triathlon last year when I was probably in the worst shape of my life, and I was able to meet that goal and have a fantastic time during the race. I had a plan, things to do that I could see bringing me closer to my goal. But here my job is to wait.  Wait to see what God has in store for us. Wait to see if my body cooperates. Wait to see what the future will bring. There is nothing to do but sit and wait, and that is both hard and humbling.

I am so thankful for those of you who are taking the steps I can't, checking the things off the list I am unable to do: caring for Caden, providing meals, shopping for groceries, cleaning my fish tank, entertaining my crazy dogs. And I am thankful for those of you who are waiting with me--in prayer, in thoughts, in cards, in kind words. Without all of you I would not be able to do what I am supposed to be doing for this baby, and what I'm supposed to be doing is nothing. Thank you for making that nothing possible.    

And now for something different...

I had another ultrasound today, and everything looks good. I still don't appear to be leaking, and amniotic fluid is holding steady at 11.6 cm. I'm still on bedrest, which is still a challenge, but we have been blessed by the help we've received with Caden, the delicious meals we've been given, and especially we've been blessed by your prayers.

Because we're doing so well, and I've been so blessed, I thought I'd focus on something altogether different for this blog post.

Did you know that in other countries there are no resources for children with Down Syndrome? In these countries, if a child has a disability, the family is logistically unable to keep him or her with them--there is simply no support for that choice. As a result, these children are sent to orphanages where they live until the age of four or five. At that time they are then institutionalized. 95% of children with Down Syndrome die in institutions because they are unable to handle the horrible conditions. The only hope for these children is adoption.

I have fallen in love with an organization that helps facilitate international adoptions of children with Down Syndrome. Reece's Rainbow was founded by Andreas Roberts and is named after her first son, who was born with Down Syndrome. Andrea is on a mission to protect other children with Down Syndrome.

This is an incredible ministry and an incredible organization. Reece's Rainbow has only been around for four years, but already they've helped more than 275 children find their forever homes.

Not all of us are called to adopt. Not all of us are in a position to give financially. But every single one of us can pray for this ministry and pray for these precious children who so desperately need homes.

If you have 12 minutes to spare (and a box of tissues handy) take a look at this video montage of some of the children who have been adopted and those still waiting to find homes.

I promise you I won't be posting here every other week with a new cause. I just wanted to share information about this ministry with you because I think it's so important, and my heart breaks every time I see the face of one of these children who are waiting for a home.

Blessings to you all.

Happy Father's Day, Scott!

I was reflecting on my husband as a father today, and I realized that I have been blessed beyond measure. Scott is a good leader for our son: He shows him how to work hard, how to play hard, and how to praise the Lord daily. In the past 20 days Scott has stepped into a role that neither of us expected him to have to play, and he has taken on all the additional tasks and responsibilities without complaint. He works hard from when he wakes up until he falls asleep at night, and he still makes time to roughhouse with Caden, play cars with him, or read him a book. Thank you, Scott, for being such an amazing husband and father. And thank you, Lord, for giving him to me.

First picture of Daddy and son.

Sleepy boy.

Doing "tricks."

Daddy took that puke like a trooper. 

(Caden was pleased.)

See the family resemblance?

Milk. It does a body good.

Snuggles with Daddy.

Teaching Caden to ride a bike.

Sleepy Daddy.

Should I be concerned that this is what Daddy is letting him play with while I'm on bedrest?

Watching butterflies with Daddy.

Me and my Daddy.

Thanks

Thanks to all those who have helped us these past two weeks; we couldn't have done it without you, including:

• Guapo and Nana Lisowski
• GrandmaMA
• Aunt Katie
• The Barkocys (not "Barkocies"?!)
• Cheryl Morris
• The Guthries
• Karen & Terry Newton
• Lauren, Grace, and Ragina Jackson
• AnneMarie Stone (and for taking a ribbing from Scott)

Caden wishes to thank OGO for helping finish the play yard (above). And he explains "OGO" is Grandpa Campbell who got nicknamed, deservedly, "Oh Great One". The question is: Was the title sarcastic or respectful or blasphemous (hint: it is now endearing)?

Our love to you all!

A Great Wife

I wanted to say that I am so grateful that I have a great wife. While I count the responsibility for (all of) the dishes, laundry, daily cleaning, shopping, getting Caden up and putting him to bed, and being the one who can "go-then" with Caden outside to play as hard, the harder part is being on bed rest and not doing those things. I love you, Heather.

Scott

Two Weeks

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and they did another AFI (ultrasound to check the fluid level.) Everything is holding steady at 12 cm, which is awesome. My doctor still believes that the rupture has resealed, but I am still on complete bedrest, which is just fine with me--I have no need to take any unnecessary risks.

While everything is looking very promising regarding the cerclage and the ruptured membrane, we did become aware of another problem with this pregnancy. (Please bear with me--I'm not a doctor and I'm explaining this the way I understand it.) About a month ago, we learned that I had tested positive for the jka antibody. We assumed that Isobel had not carried the antigen, that Caden had sensitized me to the antibody, and that Scott was a heterozygote--meaning that our children had a 50/50 chance of being positive for the antigen. To make sure, Scott had his blood tested. Yesterday we learned that in fact Scott is a homozygote, meaning that our children have a 100% chance of carrying the antigen. What this means for our baby is that if the titers in my blood increase, my body will attack the baby's red blood cells, causing hemolytic problems such as jaundice and anemia. Currently the titers in my blood are very low, which is good news. If they increase to a certain amount, my doctors will begin to monitor the baby for signs of distress. If it becomes apparent that the baby has developed anemia, one of two things will happen: If it's early in the pregnancy, the baby will receive a blood transfusion while still in utero. The doctors say they have done this and it's "a pretty cool procedure." If it's later in the pregnancy, they will likely induce me and treat the baby after he or she is born. No matter what, the baby will need to be treated for jaundice after birth. After she gave us this information, our doctor (whom we love) said, "what this means is that I believe we'll get you through this current problem, and then we'll be dealing with the antibody issue."

So...we need your prayers again. This is not an insurmountable obstacle, and there is a treatment path if the titers in my blood increase. But it is another challenge for an already challenging pregnancy. So far we've had the original incompetent cervix (cerclage), PPROM (membranes appear to have resealed), staph infection(healed), and now the jka antibody. To be honest it is a little overwhelming. But we continue to rest on our faith: We've seen God do some amazing things, and we are so thankful that we have gotten this far. Please continue to lift us up in prayer.

One additional factor is that with each subsequent pregnancy, the level of jka antibodies will increase. This means that if we were to decide to have another baby after this one, he or she would be even more at risk.  After Isobel's birth we were told that subsequent pregnancies would likely be successful after a cerclage was in place, but that the doctors would encourage me to stop having children after three cerclage pregnancies. Now our doctor is saying that we'll need to wait and see how this pregnancy progresses, but it's likely that they will encourage us to stop having children after this one is born.  I am struggling with this a little bit. I had always hoped for a large family (and had hoped I could get Scott to agree with me!), and I feel as though my body is failing me. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for Caden. He brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined. Yes, more trials, too, but even in those I am thankful that I was called to be his mother. And I have not stopped giving thanks for the baby in my belly. He or she is a miracle in so many ways, and I love him or her so much more than I can even explain. Since we are faced with the very real possibility that God is perhaps telling us that this is our last biological child, I am grieving a life that I had hoped for.  Which is not to say that I won't give thanks and praise for the life and the children I have--God has been very good to me.

After all is said and done, we've seen some incredible things in the past 14 days. Two weeks ago I went in for a routine cerclage, two weeks ago my water broke, and two weeks ago I thought I wouldn't remain pregnant for two more hours, let alone two weeks. Praise the Lord, we've made it two weeks. I will continue to sit with Him by my side--day by day, week by week--until this baby is born.

16 Weeks!

Today I am officially 16 weeks pregnant. Every single day I stay pregnant without leaking or having contractions feels like a victory, but there's something that feels especially victorious when I reach a new week of pregnancy. The closer we get to full term, the more relief I feel. But also, I am so thankful for every single day I get to spend with my baby.

After I ruptured, we were presented with the potential challenges we now faced: Infection, preterm delivery, placental abruption, etc. After we were given this laundry list of terrifying possibilities, we were given the option to remove the cerclage. Obviously we did not choose to go this route. I told Scott that I would rather fight for this child with the possibility that we would only have days or weeks with him/her than to throw in the towel and give up.

Of course I want to go full-term and have a healthy baby I can whisk home from the hospital to our new life together--I plead with God daily that this would be the outcome of this pregnancy. And if this baby were to die, I would grieve with my whole being. (Having already experienced the death of a child I know it would be devastating.) But while I'm waiting to discover the place this journey will take me, I can experience the grace of today.

Thank you God that this baby is still in my belly. Thank you that he or she has plenty of fluid to breath and move in. Thank you that I am healthy with no sign of infection. Thank you for the apparent healing of my amniotic sac. Thank you for the good doctors and nurses who are caring for us and who were willing to take a risk to try to save my child. Thank you for all the friends and family who are praying and who have stepped forward to help in very meaningful ways. Thank you for the gift of each day. Thank you for 16 weeks. Amen.

Ultrasounds and Miracles

Today we went for an ultrasound to check the fluid levels around the baby. He or she was moving around great, the heart rate was at 154, and fluid was holding steady at 11.5 cm. This is a completely normal level for amniotic fluid, which is incredibly positive news. Because of this and other indications, our doctor thinks the rupture has resealed. She said to Scott, "You must have a lot of people praying for you." To which he replied with a laugh, "Only about half the state of Colorado."

We are very thankful to God for what appears to be a miraculous healing. Our doctor won't say that it has definitely resealed--we need to wait a few more weeks before we can maybe medically claim that--but everything right now points to the hope of a reseal. I'm still on complete bedrest--our doctor doesn't want me to take any risks right now in case the membrane is still healing (or in case there is some other weakness in the sac), but she was optimistic about the possibility of reducing my bedrest restrictions a month or two down the road. This would mean I would still be on bedrest, but I'd be allowed to leave the house on occasion and wouldn't be quite as confined to bed.

We're so thankful for all of you. We're thankful for the cards, the emails, the phone calls. We're thankful for those of you who have offered to provide meals or to care for Caden. We're thankful for your prayers, and we're thankful for your love.

Blessings, Heather

Baby Campbell

Offering Help

Many thanks to those who have offered help. We need it!

We've tried to post the times where we need help, and what kind, on the Calendar page. It is probably good to start there. If the times we've posted are times you are able and willing to help, then send Heather an email. Her email address and phone are on the left lower sidebar. She'll try to get back to you right away.

Then, a description of the kinds of need are on the Care Needs page. I hope these help. If you want more detail, let Heather know.

Our house - just as a caution, we've not posted our address or map, but Heather will send that to you. We're in Palmer Lake and you'll need some detail to get there as the road signs and turns are not always obvious.

Thank you so much,
Scott

Heading back to work

Thank you to all who have prayed over us for the last week. By God's grace we were able to go "home" from the hospital with Heather on full bed rest - "bed, bath, and (not much) beyond." I'm back at St. Matthias playing catch up and preparing a modified work calendar so that I can both be effective with ministry and as a dad/husband. You are all a blessing.

The story up now...

On March 18, Scott and I discovered we were expecting our third baby. We were completely ecstatic, and began brainstorming creative ways to tell our family, tossing out new baby names, and planning how to best utilize our limited living space. We also began making some practical plans. Because of my incompetent cervix, we began planning for how I was to "take it easy" and take care of Caden, too.  


We scheduled a routine cervical cerclage with the doctors who cared for us during the end of my pregnancy with Isobel and for all of my pregnancy with Caden. I had had a cerclage and partial bed-rest with Caden and expected this pregnancy to proceed along a similar path. 


My cerclage took place on Tuesday June 1st, and despite some anesthesia issues, everything seemed to go fine. My doctor informed me afterward that though she had been successful in placing the cerclage, I had already dilated a centimeter, and as a result I was to begin partial--or modified--bedrest immediately. 


While I was in the recovery room, I felt a slightly painful "pop." We called the nurse and she examined me and was unable to immediately determine what had caused that sensation. We were taken to another part of the hospital to wait for two hours and then repeat the test. When I was examined a second time, it was clear that I was leaking amniotic fluid, and the popping sensation had been my water breaking. Scott and I were devastated. Isobel's death had been under slightly different circumstances, but the feeling of helpless acceleration toward some terrible outcome was identical. It is possible to carry a baby to term with a ruptured membrane, but it's not always successful, and I was only 14 weeks pregnant. 


I was admitted to the hospital and made to lie flat on my back for 48 hours until the doctors could decide what to do with us. Standard medical procedure would be to remove the cerclage because it is safer for the mother (less risk of infection.) But because of my history, we know it's impossible for me to carry a baby to term without a cerclage, so removing it would be to absolutely condemn this baby to death. Fortunately, because of my history of GBS, I had been prescribed antibiotics before the surgery, and had also been given antibiotics during the surgery. 


After two days my doctors decided that since the rupture had happened immediately after a sterile procedure and I had not developed an infection, we would cautiously proceed with the cerclage in place in the hope the membranes would reseal. I was given IV antibiotics, and after four more days in the hospital I was released to go home with a prescription of oral antibiotics and on complete bed-rest. 


Complete bedrest means I can get up to go to the bathroom and take a brief shower and that's about it. Otherwise I'm confined to a recliner or bed. 


We still don't know what exactly caused the rupture. We think it had something to do with the cerclage, and if so, that's surprisingly good news. If the rupture was "mechanical" in nature, it means that there's a greater likelihood of reseal. And in fact, it currently appears as though that may have happened. If it can be determined that a reseal has in fact occurred (and this is a little bit of a guessing game), I will be treated as though this is a "normal" cerclage pregnancy. If I am still leaking by August 5, I will be admitted to the hospital again and will remain there until the baby is born, which could be as late as November. During this time I would receive steroid shots to help the baby's lungs develop, in case he or she is born preterm. 


Regardless of the path this pregnancy takes, we will be taking each day as it comes, and we will continue to pray that this baby will be born healthy. God has been gracious to us in many ways throughout this journey. On the morning of the cerclage, my daily Bible reading included the following verse: 

Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span. 

--Exodus 23:25-26.

We've been clinging to this verse as hope from the Lord for this pregnancy. 


Thank you for your prayers and your love. Please continue to intercede on our behalf. As I said before this journey will be day by day, sometimes minute by minute, and we are upheld by you. Blessings, Heather